Friday, December 4, 2009

Silent Conversations .... :)

Priya lost her voice at a very young age. She was attacked by some strangers and in the process they ruined her vocal box. Her mother cried when she came home all bloodied and bruised. Her mother began to weep when she opened her mouth to say something, but nothing had come out. She struggled to speak her feelings, to tell the world how she felt. She tried so hard to get her vocals back, she tried so hard to tell someone how she felt, but they didn’t know what she said.


Inside her mind she could scream when she was angry. Inside her mind she could laugh when she was happy. Inside her mind she could cry when she was sad. Inside her mind she could sing along to songs when she heard their familiar tunes. Inside her mind she could speak of her deepest feelings and secrets. But only inside her mind.


“Hey,” he said as he sat next to her on the  bench .She gave him a smile of acknowledgment as she watched the grass sway with the wind and the birds fly across the sky. They did this everyday, sitting and looking at everything around  them , enjoying the beautiful nature God has created. 





“Did you know today’s the last day that the birds will be here until next year?” Amit said as he heard them sing while passing by. She looked at him in shock and then waved to flying birds.


“Why?” she silently asked waving her hands.


“Migration, soon it’ll be too cold for the birds to survive here. So they fly off to somewhere warmer where they’ll be happier,” he said answering back the question he knew she asked. She gave him a nod of understanding and looked at the empty trees. She frowned at the quietness of the trees. He watched her eyes and read her emotions like an open book. Priya and Amit were friends for 3 years now. Amit could very easily understand what Priya wanted to say every time . If only she opened up a little more he could read the words she felt. She pointed to the empty field and looked at him with the frown still on her face.


“It’s empty” she silently stated.


“Yeah, it is empty without the birds, but they come back every year,” he smiled. She tilted her head as questions raced through her head. Her eyes continued to stare into his in hope. Could he hear her? She pointed to the bare trees.


“It’s dull,” she silently stated again this time waiting for his answer. He stared at her with his eyebrows raised.


“I know, but the trees become dull so that when winter comes, everything can be white and covered in snow. It’s just as beautiful as golden and red leaves in autumn,” he said answering the statement her eyes said. She looked at him with a shocked expression.


“Can you hear me?” Priya asked screaming in silence. Amit only smiled and nodded his head.


“Only if you tell me,” he said. She gave him a wide smile and told her stories which she always wanted to share with someone with her eyes :)





P.S  It is for the first time that I have written a story. Do tell me , how is it and should I try writing a story again? And please suggest a title to this post.



27 comments:

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

awesome story

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

Interesting story....there is much more to come like this from you :)

for a first attempt, its a good try ekam...please write more and bring out the writer in you....there is always a scope for improvement...you need some ....thats always there..


title for the story??

i told u earlier i am bad at this..

Speaking through Silence( Or Eyes)
You Complete My Silence.


i cant think of any more.. :(

Jaunty anima said...

Brilliant first attempt!!

N the title could be-"A tete-a-tete when her eyes only spoke"

HaRy!! said...

hey nice attempt Ekam.... maybe yu can start with elobarating more on the protoganist...wud give more sensation to the reader... neverthless nice one.. title..hmm I'd say... Friend in need?
..if thats ok..
hope to cya around


HaRy

Anoop said...

Ekam,

its ur story... so u must giv a title... U really kno priya's n amit's feelings n their whole story.. so i wud sugest betta u find a title...

n yea...this is ur first story.. n tat was a good start... keep writing... no one wil ask u..cuz its ur blog... ;)

hav fun
anoop

Anu...:) said...

Nice one dear! :)

How about "Silent Conversations" for a title ? :P

Arpit Rastogi said...

Awesome Story...
You actually should write more stuff...

It seemed a bit influenced by your last post Silence...

Title- "Her Silent Feelings"... An Emotional Story!!!

Anyways Great Effort. :) n Keep Writing.

Ekam said...

@Vandana
Thanks dear :)


@Mahesh
Thank you Mahesh :)
I'll write more.I just wanted to write a story first and then wait for you all to give comments and then write up the next. It needs a lot of improvement. The most difficult part for me was to how to start the story.
Title .. I have decided :)

Ekam said...

@Jaunty
Thanks Jaunty :)


@Hary
Hmm.. even I think so now after reading this again.. I'll take care of that next time. Thanks :)


@Anoop
Thank you Anoop :)

Ekam said...

@Anu
Thanks sweetie :) Silent conversations is done! :)


@Arpit
Thank you.Yes, it is. This came into my ming while writing the last post:)

Thousif Raza said...

the concept is good, but its way too small, and it needs character development, according to me, a story must try to say something, and this story of your's had that something in it...

i liked it and i guarantee you can do better next time... i have posted a story in my blog rgt now... read it and let me know if you like it or not ok

abt the title, its awesome suits it....

waiting for your comment.....


take care and keep writing...........

Stupidosaur said...

Its a nice idea and a simple in a nice way narration. I guess everybody who cannot and can speak actually dreams of such understanding person.
But that can get freaky and undesirable and boring too!

Being Pramoda... said...

Hi Ekam..lovelyy story..and nicely penned down..:) i would have suggested the same tite as of now..

i loved the sensitivenss in this post..:)

Keep writing ekam..:) ALl the best..

- Sugar Cube - said...

Interesting story.
Good one

Musings of a lonely traveler said...

A touching tale Ekam..I would suggest that you should write more fictions as I have already seen a budding fiction writer in you..Title of the story..."Tryst with Silence"...:)

Dhanya said...

So touching... lovely :)

Sans said...

Ekam...heights of excellence.

Ekam said...

@Thousif
Glad that you liked it . About the character development, I'll make sure that it does happen when I write next. Thanks for the suggestions :)


@Stupidosaur
Yes. Everybody hopes that you get such an understanding person in your life :)


@Pramoda
Thank you dear :)


@Sugar Cube
Thanks sweetie :)

Ekam said...

@Musings of a lonely traveler
Oh thank you for that comment. I'll try to write more fiction for sure. Thanks :)


@Dhanya
Thanks :)


@Sans
Thanks :)

parzi said...

hieee Ekam
that was a very beautiful and touching story...
excellent narration ...u captured the sensitivity of the situation beautifully through ur words...mindblowing!
n if that's ur first attempt...then u r already perfect...so do write stories in future....i'm looking forward to read them!
as for the title...the one u gave is very apt...
for choices"when eyes speak"
"speaking silence"
"echoes of heart"....

i really enjoyed reading ur post!
keep writing!
take care!
God bless!

Abhishek Khanna said...

silent conversations is the apt title of this post..

good narration.. a little bit abrupt at times but still the overall impact was good

Ekam said...

@Parzi
Thanks a lot dear :)

Ekam said...

@Abhishek
Thanks :)

Hemanth Potluri said...

nicely written :)..

urs..hemu..

Harshita said...

Its a beautiful story :)

яノςんム said...

Lemme introduce myself.. I have been a regular blogger, but quiet inactive these days :)
and I landed here out of accident :D and I am hooked :)
lovely lovely lovely story :)
choice of words and idea of the whole sequence is so appealing..
Will come back here for sure..

Ekam said...

@Hemanth
Thanks Hemanth :)


@Harshita di
Thank you di :)


@Richa
Thanks dear . Glad that you liked it. Hope to see you here more often. Take care:)